Bloggo Jacko

And Now The Three Holiday Blogs!

3rd December
Today we finally left for apollo bay, "heaven by the sea". The trip there is what i would like to write about as currently i have unpacked and decided that a rainy surf town is no object of interest. So. After having to put up with my siter's desires to change which side of the car she wanted to sit on, 6 times, we manged to leave heidelberg in the morning. We drove for a while and eventually came across geelong *Groan *Sigh. That place never changes. Always the same. Boring Geelong... Then we left and drove the rest of the way...(lol)

10th December
I guess the reson i haven't written anything for such a long time is that there isn't much going on here, apart from rain for 10min on the hour, every hour, and my aunt's consistent yapping. imagine a person who NEVER stops talking and if she isn't talking, says "um" to reserve her place in the conversation. I have no escape. Yesterday was a welcmome break though. We went to visit our grandparents in Warrnambool. NOW THERE IS A PLACE NOT DESERVING OF ITS STUPIDLY LONG NAME! They should rename it "The Bool" or "Warrnie". I am learning to ride a unicycle, which is really hard. 3.4 hours so far. I will persist!

16th December
I'm in Aireys inlet now with russell and alan, its a bit of fun, but i miss mim. WE pretty much sit around here andwatch tv or go for a bike ride. Alan's mini ipod is making me jealous... Bah! At least i missed out on the ride to the sewage farm. Crappo! (get it?) Alright im done. Time to go home. But no before 6 hours of TWINE.

Yes, this blog will indeed be about my visit to a restaurant recently. “Ying’s” Asian cuisine. There is no doubt in my mind about the food. The food was great. I probably have never had better Chinese food. It was only after I sat down that I realized what I had put my self in for when my father had asked “Do you want to go out for tea?” Oh ok I thought. I like eating away from home. I had put myself in for entertainment from the resident loony at the joint, aptly named “Phyllis”. She owned the joint and was the most open person you would ever meet. And for some reason from the word go she had it in for me. Not only did she comment on my “sexiness”, she claimed that “my girlfriend” (rose, my sister) sitting next to me was perfect for me. All this in front of 15 people at a table.

Half of them winked at me, while the other half were rolling on the ground laughing. Unfortunately due to a combination of this and the fact I was left sorely embarrassed and therefore speechless I was unable to correct her judgment on me. To make matters worse coincidently the “music” playing was on a short loop which got through four times. Anyone guess the first song on the list? “Kissed By A Rose”.

It was all so freaking wrong. Phyllis returned several times, each time staring at me and mocking me about something. My hair, the fact I was chewing my nails, (“Nasty habit, are you baby?!”) and last but not least, when I accidentally knocked over an empty glass of water, she grabs a wine bottle and slams it on the table saying “It’s a bomb!”. Man. *sigh.

Perhaps it would also be eloquent to mention the dessert as well. An event also extremely embarrassing for me. We had banana fritters. Do you ever find yourself in an awkward position with your parents regarding sexual hilarity? This was such a moment. The phallic resemblance was uncanny, and mum cracked up along with my sister. Dad didn’t get it, and said “Are those banana fritters too big for you?” Shock was the prelude to fits of laughter. At the time I was too caught up in it to realize the repercussions of the incident. Let me put it into perspective. It was like I went to see the American Pie trilogy with only my parents and they laughed at all the jokes. Aw never mind. Dude. It was all too much. Just as I thought it was all over, Phyllis broght out the fortune cookies, and as I reached for one carefully; “Ladies first, idiot boy.”. To make matters worse, what did my fortune cookie say? “Killing time murders oppurtunities.” Maybe I shouldn’t have written this. Oh well.